The Three Me's

The characters-
ME_EARLIER

ME_NOW

ME_LATER

The Argument-
ME_EARLIER : “You cannot blame me alone for this!!”
ME_LATER : “Had you done what you were expected to, I would not have been in this mess. And you, Mr. ME_NOW how can you be such a lazybone?”
ME_NOW : “Ridiculous!!! It is not the question of me being Lazy. I agree if ME_EARLIER had done his part, it would have been different. But you should be looking at ways dealing the mess you are in than playing this blame game”.
ME_EARLIER : “Yeah, that’s right. Why the hell are you after us?”

The Plot-
Just when I sat down to study the presentation yet again, I remembered to keep the laptop for charging. I am sure I will feel handicapped without it during the journey. “This is the single most important meeting in my career. And I cannot relax a bit till it’s over”, I kept on reminding myself. The flight is at 4:30 early morning, I should not forget to set the alarm.

The Argument Continues-
ME_NOW : “But it all started with your stupidity. How on earth can you forget to set the alarm?”
ME_EARLIER : “So what!!?? You are the one who overslept. I was struggling with the presentation last night. I was tired and slept off. But you… You took the luxury of being lazy to get up on time. As if people don’t get up without alarms.”
ME_NOW : “What ever has to happen will happen. It is destiny. Me, you or him cannot change it. Mr.ME_LATER now you stop this and move ahead. You are wasting your time here”
ME_LATER : “This is extremely disappointing. Because of you both I missed the flight. Now I will have to face the consequences. And you are accepting your fault. Hey Mr. ME_NOW how can you have the nerve to speak to me like this? You have put me into trouble. You are the only one who was lazy here.”
ME_NOW : “But..”
ME_EARLIER : ” You better don’t speak a word more now. I agree with Mr. ME_LATER. You are the sole culprit here”
ME_LATER was about to shout at MR._NOW again and the mobile phone buzzed. ME_EARLIER and ME_LATER vanished…

The Dream-
BUZZZZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZI sprang out of the bed. Threw the blanket aside while banging on the alarm snooze. The fluorescent screen read 3:00 am. An hour and few minutes later I collected my boarding pass.

Now is the time. Now decide destiny. Now can be the culprit as well !!

SEX CRICKET AND BOLLYWOOD

5:27 PM 9-May-2008: "uff!!! this is the worst day ever, thank God it's over!!", he consoled himself while parking the bike at basement of the apartment after a very bad day at office. Little did he realise there is a good 6 and half more hours left for the days close when he said that. And when things start going wrong for you, it just don't stop until your day is ruined beyond repair. So the case was not very different here as well.

5:30 PM 9-May-2008: "THUD!!" porous calcium on calcined limestone. No, it's not a chemical reaction, it's just physical. It's mere head hitting the concrete pillar. "ehhh... what the hell!!" a dire cry follows. This is when Roby Abraham Daniel realized the fact. Fact that the day is not over yet. And the calamitous day has more in store for him. How else on earth would he have missed the pillar which he last saw a few hours back???

5:31 PM 9-May-2008: Roby standing in front of the lift. Expression? hmmm expression-less, helpless, pondering WHAT NEXT!??? The lift has refused to respond to his perpetual poking. You might think this could not be very bad after all. Good to have some workout, climbing stairs.. eh? I would request your prejudicious mind to read the next line. 13th floor..!! that's where he lives. 13 is just a coincidence. It has got nothing to do with his bad day. Because he lives in the same apartment on his good days as well. So do Naveen and Me. And Naveen and Me did not have a bad day that day. So you can spare 13.

5:46 PM 9-May-2008: Roby standing in front of the door. Expression? hmmm expression-less, more helpless.. tired..(13 floors; if you have forgotten). He searched his pockets for the 4th time, and the wallet, and the bag. But he still could not find the door keys. He sure could not have lost it. Because he clings it along his bike keys. And he did reach here riding the bike. Now going down 13 floors is not very bad. Because he was more than sure the key was left on the bike. But climbing up again!!?

6:09 PM 9-May-2008: On a usual day it takes 30 seconds for me to open the door after parking my bike (I did count it!!). And I used to complain how lazy our lift was. But not anymore. It just took 45 mins for Roby today. His inherent clumsiness though was not to be blamed this time. It's just the bad day. So what will happen when you try to switch on lights on a bad day?? You get a shock??? Wrong again!!! In our unfortunate hero's case, there was no power in the house. No lights.. No fans.. No AC (We don't have it anyways). And it is rather hot these days in Bangalore. At least for a moment he thought it's all part of the conspiracy. The IT industry booming in Bangalore, Concrete jungles being built, Trees being cut down, as a result Bangalore climate stop behaving like Bangalore climate anymore. All these to make this bad day for him. You do think weird when you get hit on your head, don't you?

6:12 PM 9-May-2008: No Water... Neither drinking.. Nor bathing...


6:15 PM 9-May-2008: No power still.. It's hot still.. But there is music now. It's a symphony played by dipteron orchestra. Yes Mr. Naveen has yet again forgotten to close the balcony doors when he left in the morning. And now there are more mosquitoes in the house than the number of alphabets in this page. And they all have just one source of inspiration, Roby Abraham Daniel.

6:30 PM 9-May-2008: No power still.. It's hot still.. trying to sleep...

6:45 PM 9-May-2008: When you are the lone audience for a play. And if you doze off. Won't the actors get irritated?? So did the mosquitoes. They attacked him more fiercely.


7:01 PM 9-May-2008: He tried his best to fight them... but of no joy. He had more sweat on his body than.. whatever.. (authors should not conclude, they should leave the scope of imagination for the readers. That is the excuse for the lack of my imagination).

7:31 PM 9-May-2008: I opened the door. Switched on the main switch. turned back. Saw Roby... Expression: PRICELESS!!!

By the way if you are wondering what the hell is the relevance of the heading. Nothing!!! it's just a cheap trick to get more hits on this page.

7/7-23, 4th Main link road, Bangalore 68

“Buddy this is the best deal, I don’t think we could get a house this cheap anywhere else in this locality” – that was Sujith, and I would not have dared to question him on that statement of his. Not because he is a 6 footer with a broader biceps than mine, but he is damn good in cost estimation. I still wonder how he ended up with computers. Had he not been here, Ambanis would have had a run for their money. (What’s life without a bit of exaggeration…? lol). He was our leader in the hunt for a new abode. Arguably, the leader of our group.

The 3 storied concrete structure at 7/7-23, 4th Main link road, Bangalore 68 was a newly constructed 2 BHK (the acronym used to ponder my brains until I figured it out from a real estate guy as Bedroom – Hall - Kitchen). We were eying the 1st n 2nd floors of this unbelievable structure. Unbelievable??? Yup indeed… I can’t find any other word to describe the way the building was built. Common geometric sense would fail to accept the existence of a double bedroom house (on each floor, except the 1BHK ground floor) with a hall, kitchen and two bathrooms, in a space hardly enough for a car park.
But still it was heaven for us. Not because we were so close to salvation. But 2 month’s stay at Rajanna’s stable was like being in hell. This place is better in all possible ways.

I was waiting for a different opinion from Thad (that’s how we call him out of love.. :-D). The only thing I had in common with Thad was the first name Arun. I would say the most matured (our differences start here… lol) one in our gang of 8+1. (Explanation for +1 is somewhere down the passage… I’m yet to write about it so can’t be precise about the line number.) He has this uncanny ability to give different opinions, but to my surprise, he too agreed with Sujith on our prospective dwell. It was later that I learned the new house was co-founded by Thad.

“It is much closer to the main road”, that observation was made by Sree (aka Sreejith :-P). This is the guy whom I had met on the day I went to write my test in Wipro. We became friends in a matter of seconds (I’m sure he will have a different story to tell…). But little did I know at that moment how much he was going to influence my life. Man…. This guy never gets angry at all... probably for the first time he would get angry on me for writing about him… (mission accomplished… lol). He is another chatter box, though he still claims to be the best listener in this world.

I think I should make the confession that staying near to main road didn’t help us to be on time for the company shuttle. The closer you stay to the main road, the later u get ready for office… I wish if Einstein was still alive to explain this super special relative phenomenon.

I guess plentiful browsing centres in the close vicinity would have lobbied Kiran’s thoughts to make a favourable decision on going for this new domicile. Kiran is a mini Sree, mini only in size though… the cuteest one among us (girls beware… it’s just a disguise… who listens... huh). I always wonder if there is some kinda cold war between Kiran n Sree on making most number of friends. We all are known to outside world as Kiran’s n Sree’s roommates.

“Yo man... Four bathrooms!!!”, what more can a bathroom singer ask for… Trust me he’s much more than a bathroom singer… but the only thing is he’s more comfortable singing there… the day he comes out to his audiences it will be Yesudas’s turn for the run… the run for his money… Uff... I forgot... All this time I was talking about Rajeesh. If you ask me to describe him in one word I would choose the word ‘Unpredictable’. It would be easier to pick the swing in Patan’s bowling than the swing in his mood. And at that moment the swing was joyful... “Yo man… four bathrooms!!!” that echoed as his acceptance for Baitul Karam (name of the house... don’t ask me what it means)

Rajanna’s place was just hell for us... but for Sreenath it was “THE HELL”…you will know why when you have to manage two girl friends at a time… That was the asset he took back from hardly 3 months study (???) at some college in Coimbatore. Do you require something else to get jealous on him? But I knew there was no point in being jealous, since I had no illusions about my incompetencies in dealing with girls… (One thing I like about myself is that I admit the things that I am not good at… keep it up dude… :-D) Let’s focus on the topic now… The new house offered the much needed privacy for our “in house” cupid. (He still occupies one bedroom completely… lol) So that was an immediate consent from his side.

‘Major Saab’ Anup and I were left out… we didn’t have a choice… others had already made the decision… and even if we said ‘No’ it would not have changed the inevitable destiny. Hey let me introduce our Major Saab. He had created a huge impression when I first met him. Now here is a Man among guys. He was christened ‘Major Saab’ purely based on this impression he had created on us. But to my surprise, the man didn’t stay man for long. Soon we discovered the real Anup. Till date he’s the most childish one among us. A complete movie and computer games buff. I was not sure what had Anup found interesting about the new place. Probably he too was forced to follow others, just like I did, handicapped of choices.

That’s it!!! Now we have a new den. By late evening we had completed the transition from Hell to Paradise… So do they party out there in Paradise??? No one waited for the answer… The party had already begun… Let’s sing… dance... celebrate…. Let’s Party all night… We had become Comfortably Numb (Courtesy Pink Floyd… :-D)..........................“THUD THUD THUD !!!!”....................it took just a second for us to realise we had guests… Un-comfortably Un-numb guests… Major Saab was the first one to smell the trouble. Fraction of a second… that’s what it took him to reach the farthest possible distance from our front door. We all stood still… silent…. but only we were silent…. our neighbours outside were teaching us raw Kannada. Thad (Arun) showed courage to open the door. That’s the first time I thanked god for my incompetency in Kannada. Till date I don’t know what they said (rather shouted). But from their body language I made out they had not come to join our party. In the end, Thad managed to pacify our ‘one day old’ neighbours.
They left murmuring… Thad closed the door softly… We looked each other… What a perfect first day…. Tensed faces give way to laughter when Major Saab reappeared…..

Epilogue: - Explanation for +1. One additional member joined our gang later… We call him KC (sorry I can’t expand this acronym…lol), his real name is Rakesh. It would take one full page to write something about him. So I’m sparing him for the time being. Initially KC was just a visitor in our house. He had taken another house for rent with his friends. Day by day the frequency of his visits increased, amazingly the wave length of stay also increased (you wouldn’t find an explanation for such a phenomenon in any physics book… :-D) And later when Sujith moved on to Chennai he became the Non Performing Asset of Baitul Karam (let the explanation for non performing asset remain secret among we roomies).

Wot de hell r u bloggin abt....

What the hell are you bloggin about….
That’s exactly what even I’m wondering….. What to blog about? I was always amused about the idea of having my own space in blogspot. But man… I have never written anything before in my life…. That’s when I started searching for a topic. But for people to read me I need to write something interesting… or rather different… ok now how the hell am I gonna figure out what’s different… should I spend all my life reading blogs by millions…so that I would end up having my own most different topic for the blog… huh? But if I do that then I would be the proud author of the priciest blog in this universe….unless not other moron with a life more worthless than mine attempts the same… okie… now my life is not so worthless also… is it so? At least I don’t think so… hmmm then why don’t I write about it then… I’m sure no other homo (I meant human beings u dirty mind... members of family Hominidae… #@%&^*!) would have written about me… it’s not because there is nothing to write about me… but the dumbasses who kno me well enough are a competition to me in being lazy… so I don’t suspect them even to open a word document for this venture… now that’s it!!! my search’s come to a full stop (.).. Write about me… wow!!! Arguably the easiest thing I can do.. (arguments are not worth mentioning here… or probably I’ll save it for yet another blog)… but now it’s another thought that has struck me… I have already written so much… to be precise 1473 characters … oh no it’s 1491… (Man another reason to hate Bill Gates n his MS Word… why the hell doesn’t it have a character count... or is it that I’m looking at the wrong place… lolzz)
Now that’s good enough for a blog isn’t it… hey man you did it… wow!!! At last here’s my first blog… welcome to the bloggers community… my ol buddy… :-)

PS: I was so desperate to write something… so kindly bear it for the first time… if at all I write again... sure I’ll have something better to say… btw the character count must have definitely crossed 1.5k now… kudos myself… lol…:-)